I've been thinking about what motivates me:
- My passion for writing
- Disappointment in myself if I don't finish
- My family's disappointment in me if I don't finish
I'm a doer. I make things happen. I have a strong work ethic. I feel that's the truth. I feel my family believes that of me, too.
If I don't finish, I'll have failed to meet those expectations. And trust me, the majority of the expectations I think my family have of me exist only in my head. I know they would be disappointed if I gave up, but their opinion of me would not be nearly as harsh as I imagine. In reality, Bear and my family support and believe in me in ways most people could only dream of.
But people having faith in you is scary. It means you could disappoint them, and you don't want to disappoint people who have such strong faith in you. It's a bit of a vicious cycle, especially if you are setting goals that are beyond your control.
And that's the wonderful thing about my goal - it hangs on my finishing (as in, having an agent-ready manuscript and querying) - not my being published.
Many times rejection is not based on your ability, talent, or finished product, but personal taste, trends, economics, timing, and a bajillion other factors that are completely beyond your control.
So I'm comfortable with my goal because completing it is up to me and me alone. Only I can disappoint myself in this endeavor. Only I can disappoint my family. Not an agent or publishing house. Me.
It's all up to me, and therefore, I know in my heart that I will rise to the occasion and disappoint neither myself nor my family.
But I'll tell you one thing...
The fear keeps me on my toes.
What motivates you? Is disappointment a factor?
