Just popping in [a little inspiration]

Just popping in to share something I found on Pinterest, which, if you aren't familiar with this site, you should seriously check out it. Sorry I haven't been around much, but I'm working on something top secret (and not at all writing-related). If you'd like to know, feel free to email me and I'm willing to divulge... ;)

Available here on Etsy (where else, right?)

Hope all is well in the blogging world!

Impossible possibilities

I've been writing full-time for 3 years now.

It took me a year to find my niche, to start a book that I knew was for real, a year full of stops and starts and beginnings of the wrong novels and frustration and research and... blah.

It's taken me 2 more years to write PRODIGAL MAGGIE, my 78,000 word YA contemporary fantasy.

(And tell me why I feel the need to apologize for being a slower writer than some, though I know I have nothing to actually apologize for? That's another post, though...)

I will never forget the feeling of writing 30 pages of something I knew could succeed, but seemed so darn impossible to finish. Heck, 50 pages seemed unreachable. I wouldn't have believed I wrote 30 pages if they weren't right there in front of me.

But then I hit 50.

100.

And then 150.

All the way up to the nearly-complete 308 pages it stands at today.

For anyone just beginning, or for anyone who can't remember how on earth they wrote that last book, or achieved 10 or 50 or 100 pages, remember:

It always seems impossible.

As Kiersten White, New York Times Bestselling author of PARANORMALCY, wrote on her blog today:

[Books are] completely impossible, except for when they aren't.

Inspiration in the most unlikely of places

[Warning, the following post is rated "R" for language. Not my language, but, well... if you don't mind the F word, continue on and you'll see. Otherwise, better skip today's post.]

Have you seen 8 MILE? You know, the 'Eminem movie'? I used to be one of those people who would never have watched 8 MILE. Eminem is vulgar, I thought. Eminem is disgusting. An angry, venomous man.

But then I met Bear. And Bear loves Eminem. Over the years, I started listening to my husband's music. He started listening to mine. And I wondered... why does he like this guy? Bear's not vulgar or disgusting or angry or venomous.

Slowly, I began to appreciate Eminem's music. Like it, even. Then I bought Bear Em's autobiography for Christmas two years ago and I read it, too. The man's made a lot of mistakes, done a lot of things that hasn't helped his persona, but he's not the insane person the media makes him out to be. It's a show, a lot of it. And he takes his craft very, very seriously.

You can find inspiration in some of the most unlikely places. In Eminem's lyrics is one of them.

Don't believe me? Google the lyrics to his song Beautiful.

And I'm sure just about everybody's hear the theme song from 8 MILE -

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime

If you move past the F bombs and references to hoes, (some of) the man's words are inspiring. Not every Eminem song is inspirational, of course. But he's a master of wordplay. He's a writer. And if you look closely, I bet you'll see familiar emotions.

Take 8 Mile, a song off the (what else?) 8 MILE soundtrack:

8 Mile by Eminem

Sometimes I just feel like, quittin' I still might
Why do I put up this fight, why do I still write
Sometimes it's hard enough just dealin' with real life
Sometimes I wanna jump on stage and just kill mics
And show these people what my level of skill's like
But I'm still white, sometimes I just hate life
Somethin' ain't right, hit the brake lights
Case of the stage fright, drawin' a blank like
Da-duh-duh-da-da, it ain't my fault
Great then I falls, my insides crawl
and I clam up (wham) I just slam shut
I just can't do it, my whole manhood's
just been stripped, I have just been vicked
So I must then get off the bus then split
Man fuck this shit yo, I'm goin' the fuck home
World on my shoulders as I run back to this 8 Mile Road

Eminem grew up in a bad section of Detroit, one of the poorest cities in the country. 8 Mile Road separated poverty-stricken Detroit from the affluent suburbs to the north. In Eminem's songs, 8 Mile Road represents his default socioeconomic status (his father abandoned him when he was 2 and he was raised by a single mother), and 8 Mile Road is a symbol for everything he desperately wishes to escape.

Eminem was a talented rapper, and though he worked hard, at that time there were few white people in rap, and he was met with resistance and prejudice, which, at times, made him wonder if he'd ever make it, if the hard work and dedication would ever pay off (starting to sound familiar?).

[Chorus]

I'm a man, I'ma make a new plan
Time for me to just stand up, and travel new land
Time for me to just take matters into my own hands
Once I'm over these tracks man I'ma never look back
(8 Mile Road) And I'm gone, I know right where I'm goin'
Sorry momma I'm grown, I must travel alone
ain't gon' follow the footsteps I'm making my own
Only way that I know how to escape from this 8 Mile Road

Eminem was determined not to follow in the footsteps of his mother, who was dysfunctional and poverty-stricken. He had few good memories of his home and family, which he used to fuel his desire to achieve, rather than wallow and give up.

I'm walkin' these train tracks, tryin to regain back
the spirit I had 'fore I go back to the same crap
To the same plant, and the same pants
Tryin' to chase rap, gotta move ASAP
And get a new plan, momma's got a new man
Poor little baby sister, she don't understand
Sits in front of the TV, buries her nose in the pad
And just colors until the crayon gets dull in her hand
While she colors her big brother and mother and dad
Ain't no tellin what really goes on in her little head
Wish I could be the daddy that neither one of us had
But I keep runnin' from somethin I never wanted so bad!
Sometimes I get upset, cause I ain't blew up yet
It's like I grew up, but I ain't grow me two nuts yet
Don't gotta rep my step, don't got enough pep
The pressure's too much man, I'm just tryin to do what's best

He had so much going on in his life, so many things to pull him from his dream. He's trying to stay passionate, to prevent the day-to-day troubles from dampening his spirit. He's trying not to let the world that says - you can't do it, your dream is crazy, go back to your day job - defeat him.

And I try, sit alone and I cry
Yo I won't tell no lie, not a moment goes by
That I don't pray to the sky, please I'm beggin' you God
Please don't let me get pigeon holed in no regular job
Yo I hope you can hear me homey wherever you are
Yo I'm tellin' you dawg I'm bailin' this trailer tomorrow
Tell my mother I love her, kiss baby sister goodbye
Say whenever you need me baby, I'm never too far
But yo I gotta get out there, the only way I know
And I'ma be back for you, the second that I blow
On everything I own, I'll make it on my own
Off to work I go, back to this 8 Mile Road

He doubts himself. He's scared that such heavy focus on his dream might hurt his loved ones.

[Chorus]

You gotta live it to feel it, you didn't you wouldn't get it
Or see what the big deal is, why it wasn't the skillest
To be walkin' this borderline of Detroit city limits
It's different, it's a certain significance, a certificate
of authenticity, you'd never even see
But it's everything to me, it's my credibility
You never seen heard smelled or met a real MC
who's incredible upon the same pedestal as me
But yet I'm still unsigned, havin' a rough time
Sit on the porch with all my friends and kick dumb rhymes

He embraces who he is, realizes that his unique voice, his unique experiences, make him unlike anyone else, and that is an advantage.

Go to work and serve MC's in the lunchline
But when it comes crunch time, where do my punchlines go
Who must I show, to bust my flow
Where must I go, who must I know

He experiences others with the same or even less talent making it before him.

Or am I just another crab in the bucket
Cause I ain't havin' no luck with this little Rabbit so fuck it
Maybe I need a new outlet, I'm startin' to doubt shit
I'm feelin a little skeptical who I hang out with
I look like a bum, yo my clothes ain't about shit
At the Salvation Army tryin' to salvage an outfit
And it's cold, tryin' to travel this road
Plus I feel like I'm on stuck in this battlin' mode
My defenses are so up, but one thing I don't want
is pity from no one, the city is no fun
There is no sun, and it's so dark
Sometimes I feel like I'm just bein' pulled apart
From each one of my limbs, by each one of my friends
It's enough to just make me wanna jump out of my skin
Sometimes I feel like a robot, sometimes I just know not

He feels like giving up. He's being distracted by real life responsibilities. He feels alone. No one else understands how important his dream is.

what I'm doin' I just blow, my head is a stove top
I just explode, the kettle gets so hot
Sometimes my mouth just overloads the ass that I don't got
But I've learned, it's time for me to U-turn
Yo it only takes one time for me to get burned
Ain't no fallin' no next time I meet a new girl
I can no longer play stupid or be immature
I got every ingredient, all I need is the courage
Like I already got the beat, all I need is the words
Got the urge, suddenly it's a surge
Suddenly a new burst of energy is occurred
Time to show these free world leaders the three and a third
I am no longer scared now, I'm free as a bird
Then I turn and cross over the median curb
Hit the 'burbs and all you see is a blur from 8 Mile Road

He finally let go of all the internal issues (confidence, fear, etc.) holding him back, stopped making excuses, and just did it.

There's a lot more I could infer from this song, but this post is already long enough.

What unlikely places do you draw inspiration from?

I yam what I yam

In her post, Beautiful People, Kristin Briana Otts challenged bloggers to share pictures of themselves without makeup in order to expose what true beauty looks like.

Well...

That would be hard for me considering I don't really wear makeup (and when I say that, I mean... 25 days out of 30, I don't even put on chapstick).

According to Hollywood, I am no great beauty. I have dark circles under my eyes. They are hereditary. My brother and my father have them, too. I have pale skin. I'm talkin' darn near translucent. I have lots (lots) of scars from pretending to be a lion tamer to my cats all these years. I'm short. I wear glasses. The hair around my face gets caught in my glasses a lot and breaks, causing me to have tons of fly aways.

Guess what? I don't mind.

In some ways, my lack of vanity is a product of sheer laziness. I'm so incredibly low maintenance (of course, I make up for that tenfold by being incredibly emotionally high maintenance, but Bear loves me anyway), it's kind of ridiculous.

That's not to say I don't take care of myself. I wear sun block. Brush my teeth. Moisturize. Brush my hair (most days).

But yeah... I'm lazy.

It's not just that, though, because if I had poor confidence, it would be enough motivation to not be lazy. I was blessed to be raised with a mother who is comfortable in her own skin and never put an emphasis on the outside, except to say that us kids should be healthy. I was raised to believe in myself. That's not to say people who have low self-esteem were not raised to believe in themselves, but for whatever reason, the sense of self-worth my mother introduced to me early on stuck.

I've never been one who can't answer the door without makeup on. I didn't even know people did that until 11th grade.

All this might lead you to believe that I never get upset about my appearance. Trust me, I do. Sometimes when I want to do my hair nice, I get so frustrated I want to scream - because no matter how many YouTube tutorials I watch, I can't figure out how to create perfect spiral curls or get my hair to stay in a French twist.

Though I'm thin, and the myth goes that thin people looooove to shop, I hate it, because everything in the Juniors section is cut and designed for teens, and everything in the Misses section is cut and designed for bodies far older than 25. I hate shopping because it makes me feel like a freak. I wander the mall, eyes glazed, trying to find a 'normal' shirt or a 'normal' pair of pants. Something that's neither too trendy nor too unstylish. A plain white polo shirt that's not paper thin. A pair of bootcut, mid-to-low-rise (but not super-low-rise) jeans that is neither acid-washed nor elastic-waisted.

Back to Kristin's challenge. Since I really don't wear makeup, 99% of pictures of me are without a shred of it. So I thought I'd go one step further...

Here's me an hour after I woke up. All I've done is splash water on my face.

"Wha-? Paparazzi?! I can't believe they found me! And so early, too!"

And remember folks... as Popeye says...

Check out the other awesome bloggers who have participated in Kristin's challenge (and if you'd like to join us, leave a link in the comments):

Chanelle Gray
Emilia Plater
Kate Hart
Phoebe North
Rachel Bateman
Rachel (SeeYouUpside)
Raven Ashley


PS - As of 2:00pm today, Bear and I have been married 4 years. (!!!)

What do red hair, green hills, crumbling bricks, and glass vials have in common?

Each week, YA Highway hosts Road Trip Wednesday, a blog carnival in which contributors discuss a specific topic on their own blogs and invite readers to do the same. This week's RTW topic is:

What photos inspire your work?

None of these photos actually inspired my manuscript, but they are clues as to what it is about:

Make what you will of it. ;) And feel free to guess in the comments.

The definition of success

A few definitions to ponder*:

 Book -  a written or printed work of fiction or nonfiction, usually on sheets of paper fastened or bound together within covers.

 Novel - a fictitious prose narrative of considerable length and complexity, portraying characters and usually presenting a sequential organization of action and scenes.

 Writer - a person engaged in writing books, articles, stories, etc., esp. as an occupation or profession; an author or journalist.

 Author - a person who writes a novel, poem, essay, etc.; the composer of a literary work, as distinguished from a compiler, translator, editor, or copyist.

When I was creating the graphics for my blog, I got stuck on the wording for my header. Is 'published author' redundant? Are you only an author if you are published? If you aren't published, are you 'just' a writer?

The definitions are above, but what about the connotations?

Personally, it makes me a little uncomfortable to say that I am an author or that I have written a novel. I imagine one of those cartoony bad guys like Snidely Whiplash saying in an obnoxious, cultured voice:

"I am an author and I wrote a novel."

By calling myself an author, I'm afraid I'll mislead people into believing I am published. By telling people I've written a novel, I'm afraid they will think I'm being snobby or condescending. The words just sound so academic and formal.

But then I started reading agent blogs. Agents, of course, make a rather large distinction between a novel and a book. A book is published. A novel is not necessarily. I got more involved in the online writing community and noticed that no one else had a problem calling themselves an author.

I've come to realize that what I call myself isn't a matter of snobbiness. It's a matter of professionalism and confidence. Before it occurred to me to look up the definition of the word, my friend Mark made an excellent point - regardless of whether I am published, I am still the author of my work.

And my work isn't published, so it's not a book, it's a novel.

Informally, I still throw the words around synonymously. But on this blog, I try very hard to be an author who wrote a novel - not a writer who wrote a book.

If you are a writer, how do you refer to yourself? How do you refer to your work?

*From dictionary.com

Throw your hands up 'cause we never gave in!

Hopefully everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day!

Even if you didn't have a significant other to spend it with, I hope you spent some time with your loved ones and told them you care. Valentine's Day is about romance, but it is also about showing those you care about that you love and appreciate them.

I hope you also did something special for yourself on Valentine's Day (and every day) because you gotta love yourself first, right? If you didn't treat yourself, it's not too late - go home and take a bubble bath tonight or buy your favorite meal for lunch or whatever makes you happy, because we all work hard and we all deserve it!

For Valentine's Day, Bear surprised me with a French baguette from my favorite bakery and this:

An Edible Arrangement! No chocolate for me (well, maybe a little... on the apples). Give me bread and fruit any day!

And now for a little inspiration. I love Taylor Swift (going to her Charlotte concert on May 1st!). I know she's a polarizing figure - most people like her or really don't like her - but either way, check out the lyrics below. They are truly inspiring, especially when you are *this close* to giving up.



CHANGE by Taylor Swift

And it's a sad picture, the final blow hits you

Somebody else gets what you wanted again
You know it's all the same, another time and place
Repeating history and you're getting sick of it

But I believe in whatever you do
And I'll do anything to see it through
Because these things will change, can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
It's a revolution, the time will come for us to finally win

We'll sing hallelujah!
We'll sing hallelujah!

So we've been outnumbered, raided and now cornered
It's hard to fight when the fight ain't fair
We're getting stronger now from things they never found
They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared

You can walk away and say we don't need this
But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this

'Cause these things will change, can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
It's a revolution, the time will come for us to finally win

We'll sing hallelujah!
We'll sing hallelujah!

Tonight we stand, get off our knees
Fight for what we worked for all these years
And the battle was long, it's the fight of our lives
But we'll stand up champions tonight
It was the night things changed, can you see it now?

These walls that they put up to hold us back fell down
It's a revolution, throw your hands up, 'cause we never gave in

We'll sing hallelujah!
We sang hallelujah!
Hallelujah!

You can see why this song was featured in NBC's coverage of the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics.

And finally, I have SEVEN boxes of Girl Scout cookies in my kitchen, so I know it's going to be a great week! Hope yours is off to a happy, productive start!

The benefits of failure

Spoken by none other than JK Rowling. I love her. Thanks for sharing this with me, Joe!


J.K. Rowling Speaks at Harvard Commencement from Harvard Magazine on Vimeo.

One more (and it's a good one)

Please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it's my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you, amazing things will happen.

-Conan O'Brien on his last TONIGHT SHOW, January 22, 2010

When a person can be that gracious during that difficult of a situation, you know it is not an act, but simply his true character.

It is not the critic who counts...

When I feel frustrated, I like to look to quotes for inspiration. Here are some of my favorites:

Brevity is the sister of talent. - Anton Chekhov

My writing style is concise, so I like to ponder this quote when I see other authors' word counts and worry my book isn't long enough. Quality over quantity, after all.

If there is a gun hanging on the wall in the first act, it must fire in the third. - Anton Chekhov

This reminds me that everything in a novel must have a purpose.

It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat. - Theodore Roosevelt

What a powerful notion - in order to achieve success, failure is inevitable. This quote encourages me to keep striving for my dreams, even when I am what is standing in the way of achieving them. It reminds me that I am DOING something with my life, regardless of what "the critic" might say.

Confidence is contagious. So is lack of confidence. - Vince Lombardi

If you don't believe in yourself, no one else will, either.

When all else fails, I am inspired by this woman's work:

If I ever met her, I'd probably burst into tears!

JK Rowling's writing may not be the most 'literary,' but she created a beloved, rich world full of things that make me happy and sad in all the right ways. I don't necessarily aim to write like her, but I always aim to make my book mean something, which I think she's done rather fabulously!

What are some of your favorite inspirational quotes? What inspires you to keep going when you just want to quit?